"Tell your Emotions to SHUT UP"

It's time to attack this area. We have struggled in this area and our emotions and little feelings have been running our life for WAYYYYYYYYYYY too long! 

Today. We're putting the smack down on our emotions. We can no longer afford to sit & entertain our feelings as they just go with the wind. YOUR LIFE can not be determined by HOW you feel!! How does that work??! At SOME point we have to TELL our emotions WHAT to do. 

I am an  emotional little mess.  I would cry if I didn't get my way, I would whine,  them to get what I wanted and then roll my eyes & think "you idiot." Yeah, I was wrong-- crazy & without Christ. Even WITH Christ-- I still hadn't renewed my thinking in that area. Like I usually would say huh,the guy was just all over me………………..oh plssssssssssssss.

 One weekend, I was having a rough week at work and I just wanted to get away. Usually, if I had a rough day-- I would travel somewhere  and just have an awesome  GET away. Yes, I ran from my problems, So, I already had a flight booked to visit a friend  So- I called her  & said, I'm coming over  this weekend I need to get away. And she was like  "No you're not"-- I'm like WHY!??! The next i heard was like, "We agreed that you were coming in 3 weeks and why would that change if you're having a bad day and moreover i have some visitors around,Babe just chill you know we already had plans to get away and just have fun with other friends?(these friends were all single ladies).lol" And I'm like "LOOK young lady, I'm coming because i need to clear my head and thoughts  I want to GET away-- -- what the heck is wrong with you??" And she stood her ground,and  said, "We don't make emotional decisions because we have a rough day, we don't run from our problems.."  Like seriously How was she gonna tell me what to do?! Is she crazy?  After we hung up the phone.. I continued to search for another get away, I was gonna go somewhere else  then..

I sat, frustrated and started to cry  deep down I heard a voice speak to me.  "you always run from your problems as if quickly changing your geographical location is going to fill your voids.. it may fill them temporarily but I desire to fill all of your heart, I know that you're having a rough week but I was there all along, I want your entire heart Freda, Stop trying to use humans and things to make you feel good about yourself. It's time to grow up."  I stopped in my tracks...  I hate these feelings in my heart, I hate that work stressed me out, I hate that anybody won't let me get my way, I'm frustrated Lord!! You have to help me!!" He whispered, "What else makes you mad?".. well, I'm frustrated about.. this.. & that. He said.. "I desire for you to be content in every way & in every area. This is a good start. Pour your heart out to me daily and stop carrying all of that care. When you spend time with me, don't make it a law or a "check" on your wall of your good deeds, spend time and enjoy me freely. I desire a relationship with you. My child, I love you. I dance over you with singing-- I knew you long before you were in your mothers womb and I called you for a purpose. We are going to get through these areas together. My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is perfected in your weakness." 

That DAY was a turning point for me. I realized that I was an emotionally led woman. No longer was I going to try to manipulate anyone with my emotions or others. I was determined to grab ahold of them. This is when I begin to tell my emotions to shut up. This is when I went hard against Satan's attacks & foreboding thoughts. This is a DECISION. When your co-worker is poppin' off at the mouth-- you don't have to respond with the same drama! Respond in LOVE. Smile, tell your emotions to hush & "win people over with your quiet & gentle spirit"- (1 Peter 3:4). If your husband or boyfriend is off the chain-- respond differently. Don't be that overly emotional woman or man. Nobody will want to be AROUND you. You want to be LOVED & not TOLERATED. If you ALWAYS have some drama going on around you, it makes it HARD for people to be themselves with you, worrying that they will "say " the wrong thing as they walk on eggshells around you. And if others around you are overly emotional-- LOVE never fails. So don't entertain it. Don't give into the attention and remember that whatever you FED will only GROW. If you continue to FEED an emotional person, they will continue to manipulate others with their emotions. Shut it down. You cannot change others, but you can change YOU. God wants your HEART.

 just a few practical tips.-- HOW to tell your emotions to SHUT UP!

1. Tell your emotions to shut up often. If you feel them rising up, check yourself. 
2. Do a quick "emotion" check-- meaning that if you're upset-- slow down, analyze the situation. Ask yourself if you have a REAL reason to be UPSET or are you just being emotional. Judge yourself quickly before you run & make a decision to "confront" somebody with MORE emotions. 
3. Mind your business. Half the time you're ready to pop off on someone is because of the way they "Treated someone else"-- God fights our battles. Words are powerful & they hurt LONG after the fight is over. 
4. Spend crazy time with God. THIS will NEVER change. You will be less likely to pop off on someone if you're spending regular time with God. The whole goal is to SPEND time in His word & APPLY it. You should be meditating on scriptures & using them throughout your day
5. Stop hanging with messy, overly emotional people. IF you have a ton of super emotional friends or you watch a ton of emotional Basketball wives TV shows.. what else do you think is going to come OUT of your heart??! You planted drama, you'll harvest more drama.

It's easy for you to argue & fight with everyone. It takes a STRONG women to control her emotions. God wants to be able to TRUST you. Can HE?! 

If this encouraged you drop your comments*winks*

Till we meet again..........CIAO 

Where is my Ring??!

So, everybody around you is getting engaged! Every day you log onto Facebook,Instagram  you find that YET another person is engaged! Although you're happy for them, deep down-- you're thinking umm. ANOTHER PERSON?! UGH! WHEN IS MY TIME?!??! 

You go to church, pray, spend time with God, you're living right but HOW is it that all of your unsaved co-workers are now engaged........... Or all your friends are engaged, married, having kids but you find yourself,still single with no Man/Boo/Bae (lmao) coming forth arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

First and foremost, you have got to stop comparing your life to another person. You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you that you're a Christian. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. Do you know what that means to all of heaven??! You've been ADOPTED, SET APART, PULLED ASIDE, HIDDEN and PROTECTED under the care of CHRIST. Do you think He's going to just let you run off any marry just anybody??! 

Anybody can get a ring young lady. Proverbs 24:1 says: Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them. So that should clear up being jealous of a bunch of random unsaved people that are getting engaged and getting dis-engaged in a few months. They don't belong to Christ which means that CHRIST has no say in their relationships! The WORST feeling in the world is for you to walk down the aisle to a man that you KNOW God didn't tell you to marry! Yes, God is always speaking, yet we don’t  listen most times. And this isn't the time to run and preach to them that they shouldn't be getting married if they aren't saved,bashing them over the head with the bible once they are engaged won't make them run to Christ.

 Just smile, hug them and say congratulations while you pray for their salvation. (I know that’s a pretty hard one…..but you can still pray for them. ‘’winks’’

Each season in your life will develop to the next one,If you're worrying non-stop about getting married, you'll finally get married and then you'll worry about kids. "Everybody is having kids and you don't have any kids, then, you'll finally get pregnant and then you'll compare yourself to all of the other pregnant women and worry about your entire pregnancy,then, kids will finally come and then you will compare your kids to everybody else's child. Do you see how destructive this cycle is??! 

Philippians 4:6-7
6 don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So are you allowing His peace to guard your mind during this season of your life? Or are you on a mad search. So of late I have really been discussing with my many single friends and guess what we all complain and nag about  the same thing and at the end encourage each other, my Faith looks up to God who is the author and finisher, I try as much as possible to encourage myself and ‘’seek’’ the face of God. I don't let being single make me bitter.  A Single life is NOT a waiting room for MARRIAGE. Marriage is a ministry and if you were lazy with your walk with God while single when you get married, you'll get smacked in the face by the EFFORT that it takes to make a marriage GOOD & last. 

We wait for cars, we wait at the doctors, we wait for the train, we wait for appointments, and even the mechanic, our ride, the doctor or the train is LATE, oops we get frustrated!

 Some of us have been on the wrong train for a while and we need to get off of it because it's PUSHING us further and further away from our destination. Some of us have been "dating" men that we WISH would marry us but we know deep down that that fool has zero standards and no relationship with God, Just like my Ex He won't spend time with God, he won't pray, he would rather play with your body than study the bible, he is CLEARLY not a husband material but you would rather in that moment forgo being SINGLE than to have to deal with being lonely again.


Sis, I want to encourage you to get back to the place of worship and begin to trust God wholeheartedly. You're going to want your one-day marriage to glorify God and then when you DO have kids. You’re going to want your HUSBAND to lead your household as a Christian leader. You may not see how important it is because your clock is "ticking" but I want to remind you that Sarah got pregnant at 99. If you don't know who Sarah is-- read Genesis.

 So remove the words "I'm waiting for my man" from your vocabulary and replace them with "I TRUST GOD'S TIMING concerning EVERY AREA." We must become desperate for Christ and stop being desperate for a relationship.

You didn't get a ring this 2015 season because it's not your TIME.2016 is only a few days from now, am not saying you will get the ring, just TRUST GOD. You never know how God can turn things around! 

First step: Be content wherever He has you right now! Trust that if that DOOR was supposed to be opened, HE would have opened it.

So what do you do in the interim?

1. Guard your heart: If Facebook,Instagram is ruffling your feathers, maybe you need to pull away from it for a little while so you can focus. Stop watching stupid shows on TV that include sex, adultery, fantasies, or whatever else. Don't you realize those things can OPEN a door into your heart?

2. Be happy for others: If you aren't happy with yourself, you won't be able to be happy with others. So sit before God & be honest. You can tell Him that you're jealous & bitter and TIRED of being single. Ask Him to HELP you to want to be ok with being single.

3. Ask Him to show you the joys of being single. Get prepared to get tested, but don't worry, the tests will make you stronger & mature you. Remember that you're SUPPOSED to be doing something during this season. What is God trying to accomplish & get you to DEVELOP in? Is He having a hard time because you're ignoring Him & focused on this world?

4. Find a local church & get involved! Surround yourself with like-minded Christian women! 

5. SPEND TIME WITH GOD! Honey, when you're on your face before God-- you don't have time to be worry about what is on sister Unoma’s ring hand finger! You're BUSY about PURSING God and you're TIRED at the end of the day. You won't have time to be jealous of anybody.

Stay focused & encouraged apieceof1stlady.blogspot.com!

XOXO……………………………