The Private War:...... Trusting God through the Silent Seasons

Ever felt like you have gone through seasons where things were moving and shaking? It seems like you were growing in Christ, doors were flying open and life is just so good! You enjoyed your time with the Lord and then... out of now where, you hit a quiet season
The scenario feels like doors don't seem like they are supposed  to be opening, you don't feel like you have clear instructions from God, you almost want to run back to that happy season but even those doors seem closed and it seems like God isn't as close to you as He was before. 

If you have ever felt that way, I want you to know that it's ok & it's NORMAL. You're simply going through a test and you have the option to pass the test & totally rely on God OR, you have the option to go & create a life and open your own doors that will end up in turmoil.

Let’s read this story together:

Genesis 11 New King James Version

The Tower of Babel

11 Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. 2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar, and they dwelt there. 3 Then they said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar. 4 And they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.”

5 But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. 6 And the Lord said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them. 7 Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.” 8 So the Lord scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they ceased building the city. 9 Therefore its name is called Babel, because there the Lord confused the language of all the earth; and from there the Lord scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth.

The whole earth came together and thought that they were going to outsmart God. So, God had to confuse their language and shut down their plans. And in your own life, God has to confuse the language you have with your boss, that boyfriend you shouldn't be with, that church or that friend that is pushing you away from Jesus. It seems like for no reason whatsoever, you guys are no longer on the same page. You don't understand it and it's frustrating but God had to stop the plans that YOU came up with for your life. 

You see, God has great plans for your life and those plans include suffering, trusting Him and letting HIM lead your life. In this private war, you may not even be able to articulate what God is doing in your heart. You have this war of the flesh, this war of trying to be who God called you to be, this war of wanting to quit, this war of resting in God, this war of "when will it be my time God."

Here's the kicker.

There are times where you're going to just have to sit there and not move. I'm not telling you to be lazy, I'm telling you that God may want you to stop building YOUR tower and sit there long enough to hear HIS instructions for YOUR life. And you will have to be honest with yourself, you won't know the next step and that’s OK. If you had ALL the answers for life, why would you need Jesus? HE places those voids in our hearts because we can only be filled by Him and Him alone. He is calling you back to that quiet place with Him. So, be honest with yourself.

1. You don't know where you're going, but God does. 

2. You're sitting and trusting Him until He leads you to the next step.

3. If He isn’t opening the doors then you aren't going to bust open a door. 

4. If He wants to pursue something, He will make it plain to you.

5. Enjoy this season instead of running out of it. You've been running so long and trying to create your plans for so long that God had to get your attention. 

This world screams into our heart, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What are your plans? What is next for you? Where is your new man? WHY aren't you taking that job? It makes SO much money! But there is this quiet whisper in your heart and the Holy Spirit is telling you to rest. Don't move. Sit there until He leads and instructs. You see, you ain't ready. If you were then you would rest until God opened up the right doors. You would be OK with not knowing the next step because you know that obedience is GREATER than temporary things.  

 Are you focused on eternity or are you focused on building your name on this earth? I don't know about you but I just want God. I want the Holy Spirit to so enjoy living in me that He bursts with joy daily. I want to be so led by the Holy Spirit that I see Gods glory like Moses did. This eternity mindset has nothing to do with the very real tests and trials that will attack you on this earth. What does the bible say about tests? Does it tells us to run? NO! It tells us to ENDURE! To stay faithful to God and to REJOICE. 

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

So, smile the next time that somebody asks, "WHEN are you getting you a man??! WHEN are you doing this? WHEN are you doing that?  Smile because you know that you are trusting God and you aren't going to step outside of HIS will to create some tower of babel. You don't need no tower of a man, tower of some job, tower of something. You need the very presence of the Holy Spirit smashing out anything that isn't like God in your heart. You simply need Him and Him alone. 

Let's fight this thing together. Let's all just sit there until the Lord leads us. Even if we look crazy. Even if the world calls us crazy. We KNOW this truth:

Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

GOD will complete it. God will complete it. I said, GOD WILL COMPLETE it. Even if you're about to get evicted. EVEN if you are lonely. Even IF you don't understand. EVEN if you are sad. Even if things look down. Place your FAITH in Jesus Christ and not this world’s temporary feelings and things. 

But... will you believe that?

Let’s stop building things that He never told us to build and going places He never told us to go. EVEN if that means QUITTING on something YOU started.

XOXO.....................................

..but I want to QUIT.

OK the year is almost coming to an end hmm mm,in the beginning of 2015 we wrote down a lot of things to achieve,we wrote down a lot of things to cut down on,we wrote down the dates of our weddings like me, Lol but some of these things didn’t come to pass, will you now say because they didn’t happen you give up? No ways,For me this year i had to do bridesmaids and chief bridesmaid for about 4 friends……….. hehe don’t mind me tho I aint got 27 dresses yet(the movie) talk less of the aseobi(countless) . I believe God saves the best wine for the last , don’t feel depressed because He is the author and finisher of our faith. 

 I want to encourage you NOT to quit. WHEN we are tested we go through a season of weaning. This is where God is weaning us from bad emotions, bad relationships. Can you imagine yourself as dough? God flattens you all the way out and then he takes a cookie cutter and presses down really hard. (while you are screaming, OUCH--that HURTS! I like my wrong attitudes, I like my stuff, I like this.. that hurts God!!)THEN, He starts pulling off the dough around the cookie cutter,these include those friendships, relationships, or anything that doesn't qualify to be in your life.Lets make 2016 a year of the dough……. It's hard to lose friendships with people that you care about, especially when their season is up in your life.  No hard feelings at all because I know this .."A Friend sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) you should  understand that where God is taking you in  life, everybody can't come. Long story short, everybody cannot be your friend & when you start placing your value in some stuff, God will rip it from under you. If you have to have anything more than HIM to be satisfied, Satan will use it against you. Over and over again(rolls eyes).

So as you are going through this season of weaning, it may seem like God forgot about you, or things aren't quite working out, but I want you to know that God is behind the scenes, working out everything for YOUR good. He is rebuilding your foundation. Most of us kinda sorta trust God and HE wants your LIFE when you trust him. He doesn't want to be your Sunday morning.He wants to infiltrate every part of your being .. and then OUT of that flows godly relationships, the right attitude on your job, pure trust in Him..love and everything else. So now that your foundation is SET, when the winds & storms of life come, it won't"blow" your house down. It will be able to withstand some things. So don't resist Him. Is there an area in your life that you are playing tug-of-war with God? Its time to sit down and write those things,pray on them and believe God for the best.

Here are a few tips on what you should do

                                                       

GO harder. 

Whenever I get tested, I recognize that I need to make sure that I'm fellow shipping with God. As soon as that connection is secure, my entire outlook changes,the grass becomes a bit greener.and it's not because anything has changed, but because my perspective has changed. Spending time with God will give you HOPE in hopeless situations. And you aren't spending time with God to get Him to "do something for you"--for GOD wants your heart, all of it. He wants you to be satisfied with Him, and Him alone. So let's all walk together. Let's pass these tests. And when the pressure gets turned up..that means that you are so close to your breakthrough. However, you must settle this trust in your heart, that even if it doesn't happen, you TRUST God. The plans that He has for your life are good! He loves you!!

 Spend time with God?

The same way you would spend time with a friend. Just sit there.. vent to Him, put on beautiful worship music (my favorite gospel artists are Jesus Culture, Hillsong & Kari Jobe), journal to Him, go out to eat, cook with Him, acknowledge HIM, read a bible you can understand (new living translation, message bible, AMP). Make it fun! Go to a park, on a rooftop, in your closet.

So, Smile, find joy in a hopeless world & keep your eyes on heaven & not on earth. LIFE is but a vapor, you'll blink and end up at the gates of heaven or hell. So don't get so distracted with the details of life. Just serve Him instead & He'll make all things plain to you.

Compliments of the season..............

XOXO

"Tell your Emotions to SHUT UP"

It's time to attack this area. We have struggled in this area and our emotions and little feelings have been running our life for WAYYYYYYYYYYY too long! 

Today. We're putting the smack down on our emotions. We can no longer afford to sit & entertain our feelings as they just go with the wind. YOUR LIFE can not be determined by HOW you feel!! How does that work??! At SOME point we have to TELL our emotions WHAT to do. 

I am an  emotional little mess.  I would cry if I didn't get my way, I would whine,  them to get what I wanted and then roll my eyes & think "you idiot." Yeah, I was wrong-- crazy & without Christ. Even WITH Christ-- I still hadn't renewed my thinking in that area. Like I usually would say huh,the guy was just all over me………………..oh plssssssssssssss.

 One weekend, I was having a rough week at work and I just wanted to get away. Usually, if I had a rough day-- I would travel somewhere  and just have an awesome  GET away. Yes, I ran from my problems, So, I already had a flight booked to visit a friend  So- I called her  & said, I'm coming over  this weekend I need to get away. And she was like  "No you're not"-- I'm like WHY!??! The next i heard was like, "We agreed that you were coming in 3 weeks and why would that change if you're having a bad day and moreover i have some visitors around,Babe just chill you know we already had plans to get away and just have fun with other friends?(these friends were all single ladies).lol" And I'm like "LOOK young lady, I'm coming because i need to clear my head and thoughts  I want to GET away-- -- what the heck is wrong with you??" And she stood her ground,and  said, "We don't make emotional decisions because we have a rough day, we don't run from our problems.."  Like seriously How was she gonna tell me what to do?! Is she crazy?  After we hung up the phone.. I continued to search for another get away, I was gonna go somewhere else  then..

I sat, frustrated and started to cry  deep down I heard a voice speak to me.  "you always run from your problems as if quickly changing your geographical location is going to fill your voids.. it may fill them temporarily but I desire to fill all of your heart, I know that you're having a rough week but I was there all along, I want your entire heart Freda, Stop trying to use humans and things to make you feel good about yourself. It's time to grow up."  I stopped in my tracks...  I hate these feelings in my heart, I hate that work stressed me out, I hate that anybody won't let me get my way, I'm frustrated Lord!! You have to help me!!" He whispered, "What else makes you mad?".. well, I'm frustrated about.. this.. & that. He said.. "I desire for you to be content in every way & in every area. This is a good start. Pour your heart out to me daily and stop carrying all of that care. When you spend time with me, don't make it a law or a "check" on your wall of your good deeds, spend time and enjoy me freely. I desire a relationship with you. My child, I love you. I dance over you with singing-- I knew you long before you were in your mothers womb and I called you for a purpose. We are going to get through these areas together. My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is perfected in your weakness." 

That DAY was a turning point for me. I realized that I was an emotionally led woman. No longer was I going to try to manipulate anyone with my emotions or others. I was determined to grab ahold of them. This is when I begin to tell my emotions to shut up. This is when I went hard against Satan's attacks & foreboding thoughts. This is a DECISION. When your co-worker is poppin' off at the mouth-- you don't have to respond with the same drama! Respond in LOVE. Smile, tell your emotions to hush & "win people over with your quiet & gentle spirit"- (1 Peter 3:4). If your husband or boyfriend is off the chain-- respond differently. Don't be that overly emotional woman or man. Nobody will want to be AROUND you. You want to be LOVED & not TOLERATED. If you ALWAYS have some drama going on around you, it makes it HARD for people to be themselves with you, worrying that they will "say " the wrong thing as they walk on eggshells around you. And if others around you are overly emotional-- LOVE never fails. So don't entertain it. Don't give into the attention and remember that whatever you FED will only GROW. If you continue to FEED an emotional person, they will continue to manipulate others with their emotions. Shut it down. You cannot change others, but you can change YOU. God wants your HEART.

 just a few practical tips.-- HOW to tell your emotions to SHUT UP!

1. Tell your emotions to shut up often. If you feel them rising up, check yourself. 
2. Do a quick "emotion" check-- meaning that if you're upset-- slow down, analyze the situation. Ask yourself if you have a REAL reason to be UPSET or are you just being emotional. Judge yourself quickly before you run & make a decision to "confront" somebody with MORE emotions. 
3. Mind your business. Half the time you're ready to pop off on someone is because of the way they "Treated someone else"-- God fights our battles. Words are powerful & they hurt LONG after the fight is over. 
4. Spend crazy time with God. THIS will NEVER change. You will be less likely to pop off on someone if you're spending regular time with God. The whole goal is to SPEND time in His word & APPLY it. You should be meditating on scriptures & using them throughout your day
5. Stop hanging with messy, overly emotional people. IF you have a ton of super emotional friends or you watch a ton of emotional Basketball wives TV shows.. what else do you think is going to come OUT of your heart??! You planted drama, you'll harvest more drama.

It's easy for you to argue & fight with everyone. It takes a STRONG women to control her emotions. God wants to be able to TRUST you. Can HE?! 

If this encouraged you drop your comments*winks*

Till we meet again..........CIAO 

Where is my Ring??!

So, everybody around you is getting engaged! Every day you log onto Facebook,Instagram  you find that YET another person is engaged! Although you're happy for them, deep down-- you're thinking umm. ANOTHER PERSON?! UGH! WHEN IS MY TIME?!??! 

You go to church, pray, spend time with God, you're living right but HOW is it that all of your unsaved co-workers are now engaged........... Or all your friends are engaged, married, having kids but you find yourself,still single with no Man/Boo/Bae (lmao) coming forth arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

First and foremost, you have got to stop comparing your life to another person. You've heard this before but I'm going to remind you that you're a Christian. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. Do you know what that means to all of heaven??! You've been ADOPTED, SET APART, PULLED ASIDE, HIDDEN and PROTECTED under the care of CHRIST. Do you think He's going to just let you run off any marry just anybody??! 

Anybody can get a ring young lady. Proverbs 24:1 says: Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them. So that should clear up being jealous of a bunch of random unsaved people that are getting engaged and getting dis-engaged in a few months. They don't belong to Christ which means that CHRIST has no say in their relationships! The WORST feeling in the world is for you to walk down the aisle to a man that you KNOW God didn't tell you to marry! Yes, God is always speaking, yet we don’t  listen most times. And this isn't the time to run and preach to them that they shouldn't be getting married if they aren't saved,bashing them over the head with the bible once they are engaged won't make them run to Christ.

 Just smile, hug them and say congratulations while you pray for their salvation. (I know that’s a pretty hard one…..but you can still pray for them. ‘’winks’’

Each season in your life will develop to the next one,If you're worrying non-stop about getting married, you'll finally get married and then you'll worry about kids. "Everybody is having kids and you don't have any kids, then, you'll finally get pregnant and then you'll compare yourself to all of the other pregnant women and worry about your entire pregnancy,then, kids will finally come and then you will compare your kids to everybody else's child. Do you see how destructive this cycle is??! 

Philippians 4:6-7
6 don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

So are you allowing His peace to guard your mind during this season of your life? Or are you on a mad search. So of late I have really been discussing with my many single friends and guess what we all complain and nag about  the same thing and at the end encourage each other, my Faith looks up to God who is the author and finisher, I try as much as possible to encourage myself and ‘’seek’’ the face of God. I don't let being single make me bitter.  A Single life is NOT a waiting room for MARRIAGE. Marriage is a ministry and if you were lazy with your walk with God while single when you get married, you'll get smacked in the face by the EFFORT that it takes to make a marriage GOOD & last. 

We wait for cars, we wait at the doctors, we wait for the train, we wait for appointments, and even the mechanic, our ride, the doctor or the train is LATE, oops we get frustrated!

 Some of us have been on the wrong train for a while and we need to get off of it because it's PUSHING us further and further away from our destination. Some of us have been "dating" men that we WISH would marry us but we know deep down that that fool has zero standards and no relationship with God, Just like my Ex He won't spend time with God, he won't pray, he would rather play with your body than study the bible, he is CLEARLY not a husband material but you would rather in that moment forgo being SINGLE than to have to deal with being lonely again.


Sis, I want to encourage you to get back to the place of worship and begin to trust God wholeheartedly. You're going to want your one-day marriage to glorify God and then when you DO have kids. You’re going to want your HUSBAND to lead your household as a Christian leader. You may not see how important it is because your clock is "ticking" but I want to remind you that Sarah got pregnant at 99. If you don't know who Sarah is-- read Genesis.

 So remove the words "I'm waiting for my man" from your vocabulary and replace them with "I TRUST GOD'S TIMING concerning EVERY AREA." We must become desperate for Christ and stop being desperate for a relationship.

You didn't get a ring this 2015 season because it's not your TIME.2016 is only a few days from now, am not saying you will get the ring, just TRUST GOD. You never know how God can turn things around! 

First step: Be content wherever He has you right now! Trust that if that DOOR was supposed to be opened, HE would have opened it.

So what do you do in the interim?

1. Guard your heart: If Facebook,Instagram is ruffling your feathers, maybe you need to pull away from it for a little while so you can focus. Stop watching stupid shows on TV that include sex, adultery, fantasies, or whatever else. Don't you realize those things can OPEN a door into your heart?

2. Be happy for others: If you aren't happy with yourself, you won't be able to be happy with others. So sit before God & be honest. You can tell Him that you're jealous & bitter and TIRED of being single. Ask Him to HELP you to want to be ok with being single.

3. Ask Him to show you the joys of being single. Get prepared to get tested, but don't worry, the tests will make you stronger & mature you. Remember that you're SUPPOSED to be doing something during this season. What is God trying to accomplish & get you to DEVELOP in? Is He having a hard time because you're ignoring Him & focused on this world?

4. Find a local church & get involved! Surround yourself with like-minded Christian women! 

5. SPEND TIME WITH GOD! Honey, when you're on your face before God-- you don't have time to be worry about what is on sister Unoma’s ring hand finger! You're BUSY about PURSING God and you're TIRED at the end of the day. You won't have time to be jealous of anybody.

Stay focused & encouraged apieceof1stlady.blogspot.com!

XOXO……………………………